I was born to a suburban Detroit clan of the American middle class. My life, thus far, has been more good than bad – interspersed with awkward moments during middle school when I experimented with corduroy.

I did the whole school thing. I went to college in Detroit and majored in History, hoping to achieve a stronger grasp of the question that still haunts us all: Why did Gorbachev do those Pizza Hut commercials?

I taught English in China for a year and saw what real pollution looks like – and felt it in the back of my throat nearly every day. I was stabbed with scissors by a student of mine who named himself Squish Gyro (I don't think Squish meant to stab me. He just happened to be holding scissors when he gave me that hug.) 

When I decided I wanted to work in advertising I sent out emails to agencies expressing interest in either (1) an internship or (2) terms of indentured servitude lasting no longer than ten years. Miraculously, someone emailed me back! They said, "Hey, can you write a jingle for Faygo?" I went home and wrote three. Two of which were produced, hit the airwaves, and were later finalists for "D Show" awards. To this day, I take tremendous pride in the fact that a Juggalo critic on YouTube said the jingles were like “acid in his ears,” and he wished he could “pee on them.”

And that was my break in the business!

So, now I'm a copywriter (update: ACD/copywriter). Since then I’ve branched out from four-chord ditties about high-fructose Faygo to work on TV, print, digital, social media, outdoor, and more for brands like Ford, Spectrum, Jose Cuervo, Scotties Tissues, Home Depot, Henry Ford Hospital, and Riiiicooooola.

In five years I see myself helplessly rich and toasting my tireless effort to your agency.

My office is also a clear shot and no more than eighteen steps from the bathroom.  

Life is good.